Business speak

Sunday 14th August

Business – speak is one of the unfortunate habits that Ugandans have picked up from the West. And almost built it in to a new language. When coupled with the fact that Ugandans will always try to be friendly and tell you what they think will please you, having a meaningful dialogue becomes quite a challenge. For example:

Me: “Can you supply these items in a better quality?”

Answer: “We are anticipating a fully holistic approach to your requirements to maximise quality outcomes at all levels”

Me: “When can you deliver?”

Answer: “We will take every opportunity to ensure rapid minimum delivery periods”

When translated, these answers are “Probably not, but we will get the best we can” and “We don’t know – it depends in the wholesaler” But this evasiveness is understandable in a country where nothing can be depended on (in material terms) and bad news is best wrapped up in friendly and positive business-like statements.

We are now near the airport waiting for the arrival of our second team. On the way here we passed what looked like a very untidy street. It was a linear rubbish tip along the roadside about 200 metres long. My first thought was “how untidy – the council should clean that up”. But the tip served a purpose. Several cows were grazing it (if licking out food containers counts as grazing) and people were picking over it.

It was not food they were looking for but re-usable materials. So waste was thrown out by shops and restaurants, cleaned by cows and sorted by people for re-use. Cows are fed and materials re-used. I should leave my western prejudices at home.

Sometimes the closeness of business signs is amusing. I recently saw “Pork Joint” (meaning butchers) next to “Joint Care Centre” (meaning physiotherapists).

So today, after collecting the team from Entebbe Airport, we cross Kampala again. Crawl through the dense smoking traffic trying to take as shallow breaths as possible with our eyes smarting in the pale brown atmosphere of semi-combusted hydrocarbons.

If the Government passed a law to say that by 1st January 2017 all vehicles must have new air and fuel filters fitted to their engines the air quality would be significantly improved. Engines here are only serviced when they go wrong. If they are still going then they don’t need servicing despite what is obviously coming out of the exhaust pipe. The reality is, though, that most people could not afford to buy new filters for their engines and my clean air plan would fail.

I will sign off now for a few days as we will be pretty busy running the programme. All is well and I am beginning to think of returning home at the end of the month. In the meantime, and as it is Sunday, here is a picture of some chickens in church (part of a child blessing ceremony):child blessing with chickens.JPG

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One thought on “Business speak

  1. Praying for you all as we meet at Buxton URC this morning – especially Sarah and Ollie as they adjust to life in Africa… We have a fellowship group meal tomorrow night at the manse and will also raise a glass to Kumi.

    Like

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